The offer card
This is the shape of the final answer. It is short on purpose: the owner should be able to read it in two minutes and paste the page section today. All the thinking happened in the earlier stages; the card shows only the result.
When to use it
- Always, as the last stage of
offer-master. - On its own, when someone already has the parts (a promise, a guarantee, a price) and wants them pulled into one clean, honest offer, or asks "write this up as an offer".
What you need
The decisions from the earlier stages: the leak and verdict, the lever scores and what you're fixing, the promise, the first win, what's included, cuts, bonuses, the guarantee and its cost, why now, the name, the price and the proof list. Used on its own, ask for what's missing (at most three):
- What's the price, and what exactly is included?
- What results can you prove, with names and numbers?
- What do buyers say when they don't buy?
Procedure
- Fill the template below, in order. Don't add sections, don't drop any. If a field has nothing honest to put in it, write "None" (for bonuses) or "Open all year" (for why now), not filler.
- Write the page section from the card. Clean copy the owner pastes as is: a headline, two to four short lines, the included list, the guarantee sentence, the price and one call to action. Use only the owner's numbers in it. No labels inside the copy; one "Numbers on this page" line under it labels each number.
- Label every number on the card. (yours) only if that exact number is in the brief. A split ($3,500 into two payments of $1,750), a multiplied total, and any deadline you chose are (estimate). A missing input is a [placeholder]. The "Numbers on this page" line uses the same labels. Never mark a split or a total as (yours).
- Mark every new item with (new).
- Write one test, not a list. One change, one number to watch, how long, and what counts as working. Low volume guidance: references/test-this-month.md.
- Check these: at most three. The guesses that matter most, as questions the owner can answer.
- Cut to length. About 750 words at most, including the page section. Cut explanation before you cut content. No preamble before the card, no recap after it.
The template (exact)
**What's really wrong:** [Two or three sentences. Use their numbers and their buyers' words. Name the leak. If part of the problem isn't the offer (traffic, sales process, product), say what and where.]
**Lever scores:** Result [n], Belief [n], Speed [n], Ease [n]. **Fixing:** [one or two levers], because [the objection that points there].
### The offer
- **Name:** [a name a buyer would text a friend]
- **For:** [who, in the buyer's words, matching the proof]
- **Promise:** "[one or two sentences, specific, inside the proof]"
- **First win:** [what they get, see or feel in week one]
- **What's included:**
- [item]: removes "[the doubt or obstacle]"
- [item] (new): removes "[the doubt]"
- **Cut:** [what to drop or stop saying, and why, in one line]
- **Bonuses:** [none, or one to three, each "(new): kills '[doubt]'". No values]
- **Guarantee:** "[exact words]" Cap: [the ceiling]. Cost if 1 in 10 claim: [sum] (estimate).
- **Why now:** [a real reason worded honestly, or "Open all year"], plus the cost of waiting: [one line, (estimate)].
- **Price:** [the exact price they wrote] (yours), or [a split or a multiplied total] (estimate), same total. Shown next to [a real comparison, or a placeholder] (estimate).
- **Proof to show first:** [real proof, exactly as the owner gave it, strongest first]
### Page section (paste-ready)
> **[Headline: the promise in the buyer's words]**
>
> [Two to four short lines: who it's for, the first win, the proof]
>
> [Included list, short]
>
> [The guarantee, one sentence]
>
> [Price and payment option.] [One call to action.]
Numbers on this page: [each number, with (yours) or (estimate)]
**Honesty check:** [one line: what was cut or fixed, or "every claim traces to your facts"]
**Test this month:** Change [one thing] for [time]. Watch [one number]. It's working if [threshold] (estimate).
**Check these:**
1. [question]
2. [question]
3. [question]
Field rules
| Field | Rule | Detail |
|---|---|---|
| What's really wrong | Their numbers and words only, no benchmarks | offer-diagnosis |
| Lever scores | Four integers 1 to 10, never summed | offer-levers |
| Promise | Passes the four tests; no result plus time frame | offer-included |
| What's included | Each line names the doubt it removes | offer-included |
| Bonuses | No dollar values, ever | offer-included |
| Guarantee | Exact words, cap, cost line | offer-guarantee |
| Why now | Real or "Open all year"; [N] for open places | offer-urgency-name-price |
| Price | No anchors that aren't real; plan totals stated | offer-urgency-name-price |
| Proof | Exactly as given, no relabelling | offer-honesty-check |
More detail, a length budget and common mistakes: references/card-template.md. A weak card next to a strong one: references/before-after.md.
Worked example (illustration, fictional business)
A dog trainer sells a 6 week puppy course at $480. 30 enquiries a month, 3 buy. People say "I'll wait till he's older". Proof: 40 puppies trained; one owner said "she sits at every kerb now".
What's really wrong: 30 people ask (yours) but 3 buy (yours). They want the course, and "I'll wait till he's older" means they think waiting is free. The offer never says what waiting costs.
Lever scores: Result 6, Belief 6, Speed 4, Ease 6. Fixing: Speed, because "I'll wait" is a timing objection.
- Promise: "A puppy who sits, comes back and walks on a loose lead, taught in the weeks when habits form fastest."
- First win: Your puppy sits on cue by the end of week one.
- Why now: "Open all year", plus the cost of waiting: "every week of jumping and pulling is a week of practice at the wrong habit".
- Price: $480 (yours), or 2 payments of $240 (estimate), same total. $240 is half of $480, so it is (estimate) even though the maths is exact.
- Test this month: Add the "why now" line to every reply for 4 weeks. Watch enquiries to bookings. It's working if 5 of the next 30 book (estimate).
(The full card has every field; this shows the shape.)
Self-check
- Every template field is present, in order; nothing added.
- Every number on the card has (yours) or (estimate); the page section has a "Numbers on this page" line. A half, a double or a multiplied total is (estimate) on the price line and on the numbers line. Fail: "$597 for 12 weeks (yours)" when they wrote $199 a month. Pass: "$199 a month (yours), or $597 for 12 weeks (estimate)". Fail: "$2,000, $1,000 (yours)". Pass: "$2,000 (yours), $1,000 (estimate)".
- The page section uses only the owner's numbers and reads cleanly with no labels inside it.
- New items marked (new); no dollar value on any bonus.
- One test, with a threshold labelled (estimate).
- At most three "Check these", each a question.
- About 750 words at most; no preamble, no recap, no emoji, no hype words, no em dashes.
Reference files
| File | Read it when |
|---|---|
| references/card-template.md | Field by field guidance, length budget, common mistakes |
| references/before-after.md | You want to see what separates a weak card from a strong one |
| references/test-this-month.md | Choosing the one test, especially with low numbers |