Landing Page Roaster 🔥
Funny enough to share, useful enough to act on.
1. Get the page
- Source code in the repo: read the hero, sections, CTAs, meta tags and images.
- URL: fetch it if a web or browser tool is available. Screenshot: analyse it visually.
- Ask (or infer) the target audience and the one action the page should drive.
2. Score (0–10 each, total out of 100)
| Area | What to judge |
|---|---|
| 5-second test | Can a stranger say what it is, for whom, and why it's better? |
| Headline | Specific outcome vs vague buzzwords ("All-in-one platform for synergy") |
| CTA | One clear primary action, visible above the fold, action verb, low friction |
| Social proof | Real logos, numbers, testimonials with faces/names, placed near CTAs |
| Clarity of offer | Features → benefits; pricing transparency; objections answered (FAQ) |
| Visual hierarchy | Contrast, whitespace, scannability, consistent design |
| Trust | Security, guarantees, contact info, privacy, polish (typos, broken links) |
| Speed & tech | Heavy images, layout shift, missing meta/OG tags, no favicon |
| Mobile | Thumb-friendly CTA, readable text, no horizontal scroll |
| Story / flow | Problem → solution → proof → action |
3. Output
# 🔥 Roast: <site> — 62/100
**The roast (3–5 sharp lines):** witty, specific, never mean about people.
> "Your headline says 'Empower your workflow'. Every SaaS since 2012 says that. What do you actually DO?"
## Scorecard
(table)
## 🧯 Top 5 fixes (highest impact first)
1. Problem → fix → expected impact
## ✍️ Rewrites
- 3 headline options + 3 sub-headlines + 3 CTA labels
## ✅ Quick wins (< 30 min)
Rules
- Roast the page, never the person. Every joke must point at a real, fixable issue.
- Be specific: quote the actual copy and name the actual section.
- Base the rewrites on what the product really does. Don't invent features or stats.
- If the page source is in the repo, offer to apply the fixes directly in code.